Rules on dating a musician
People will hit on them after shows and you will usually be there watching it happen.
In fact, the life of a musician can make relationships hard. But this will get more fucking annoying for you than the girls or the dudes in his band.In the spirit of our Valentine’s Day issue, which is brimming with love . I’ve sat on an amp against the wall and wondered what I should do. The only exception to this rule is if you live together and sound check is an errand you must run in between going to Walgreen’s and going to Costco.I’d been dating them since high school, both casual guitar-noodlers and career musicians who had songs on CW shows and their faces on T-shirts. If you’re comfortable with long absences, then this is great. Expect to pay for more than your share/everything, but don’t get trapped into supporting him financially at the expense of your own career. While there are plenty of musicians who have day jobs, there are than a few trust fund brats. Think Mel on “Flight Of The Conchords”: mostly harmless, just annoying. A song is not a present (at least in my book), unless your name is Elton John and the song is “Your Song.” But if you date a musician, especially an impoverished musician, he’s going to write you a song in lieu of a more appropriate gift. Blame it on going onstage every night at 11, but a lot of successful musicians are creatures of the night.Again and again I’d fall for the sensitive guitar player who wears eyeliner … But maybe you will be bothered by him missing your birthday because he has a gig in New Jersey, or inclined to paranoia that he’s got “a girl in every port.” Also, if you have pets or kids together, you should expect to do more of the care when he’s on tour. Again, these people aren’t worth getting jealous or insecure about. I might possibly be bitter because I got a song for Valentine’s Day one year which appeared to have been written that same day. If you’re someone who works a 9-to-5 job and requires a full night’s sleep like I do, this is not a match. This is just a fact about all creative folks — writers like myself, actors, musicians, whatever.The key here is that even Chris Martin (who really ought to know better) allowed this "burden" to take precedence over simply getting over himself. If like me, you had visions of yourself hanging out backstage like Kate Moss, all red lipstick and Ray-Bans, fag in hand, well… Instead, you are quite literally the embodiment of "great…his bird's here", as his bandmates lament his imagined descent from iconoclastic pioneer to watered down beacon of Brita–filtered domesticity. On the other hand, when you're not in the building, any hopeful female admirers will have dissipated long before the band emerges at 1am arguing about van space and who isn't pulling their weight.
But herein lies the crux of the matter: take away his "burden" and you've effectively stripped him of his raison d'être.4.
We’re trying to share a creative energy and work out ideas, and some of them are bad ones.
Or if the show is way across town and your only ride is with the band.
and again and again the same patterns would repeat themselves that led to us breaking up. I perfected the “watchful girlfriend off to the side” stance — not possessively hovering too close, but also making it clear to both him and the other chicks that I was watching. You’ll be expected to go to not just some gigs, but probably their shows. Make no mistake: these are all serious things to consider if you’re dating a successful musician. But if you’re also a night owl, then this relationship could work out great. We put our souls into what we do, so we can’t help but take it very, very personally if people don’t like it — even if we’ve become successful doing it professionally. If you go to bed with a writer, expect to wake up with shit written about you.
I have nothing but the nicest things to say about most of them . It’s normal to feel a little jealous, but there’s no point in getting too insecure because this will happen after show. If I’m in a relationship with someone, I of course want to support their career, but going to a bunch of gigs, especially ones that are late at night, can be a pretty hearty time commitment. Speaking as one of those people, it takes awhile to develop thick skin. This is another fact: unless he and his bandmates are explicitly sober, they’re going to be around alcohol and probably drugs, too, and oftentimes getting it for free. This is a saying from my friend, our former “Mind Of Man” columnist John De Vore.
• Musicians/Artists regularly get groupies after all their shows. And to every dude dreaming of becoming a rock star just for the chicks, I may have just shattered your hopes and dreams.